Writer – Terrie Lynn

Author of "Sisters stop asking Sisters"

Archive for category Chokkklit Shop

Less Than A Minute

Feb 5

Posted by NottHead in Chokkklit Shop, Dating, NottHeads, Relationships | No Comments

Terrie Lynn for NottHeads – Chokkklit Shop

It takes less than a minute to decide if I really want to get in it:

It starts with a glance, then to a stare; I look her down, and up; from her toes to her hair.  Pants or skirt, it does not matter, I’m about to get with this chitter chatter.  Crude and sometime crass, but be real, I’m trying to get that…

One minute

The fury of questions start in rapid succession

  1. Do I want to hit that?
  2. What do you think she’s like in bed?
  3. Does she have on a ring?
  4. Has she noticed me yet?
  5. How much work is it going to take to get that?
  6. Is the prize worth the effort?

If at least 5 of the 6 questions, excluding the ring (go to Plan B), come back positive, then I’ll approach.  What I might say, I have no set rule.  I check the elements, think of something clever, and then make my move.  This takes less than a minute!

Plan B- if the circumstances mean this really is not my chance to let her know how I feel then, you smile say a polite “Hello, hope you’re having a nice day” and let it marinate for a future possibility.

Some women try to play it off; like they don’t know what a man is thinking when they’re running through their own list of questions.  Attraction is natural and animalistic but that’s how we’re wired, it’s supposes to be like that.  So why all the confusion, stop the allusion that it’s about his money, his career, or his status; if you like what you see then greet me with the attitude of “you can have this if you’re willing to work for it.”  It takes less than a minute.

By Da Dude.

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Share

Tags: , , , ,

No Drama – New Year’s Resolution

Jan 12

Posted by NottHead in Chokkklit Shop, NottHeads, Relationships | 4 Comments

No Drama

No Drama - New Year's Resolution

When drama lives or visits your house, it may be time for someone to get a new address; better yet a new attitude.  Let’s start the New Year with a fresh attitude and see how long it can last.

Don’t know if you’ve noticed this from my columns and books.  I write about relationships, not necessarily how to get into one or how to keep one, but how to rid yourself of relationship drama.

“DRAMA CURES”

Now, some folks it seems, have an addiction to drama, because they need the attention, they’re bored or for whatever reason.  For others, they’re caught up in “generational curses”.  This means one or more parent had (or still has) major relationship drama in their day-to-day lives, which they may have inherited.

When you witness a parent going through psychical or emotional drama on a regular basis your mind recognizes this as somewhat normal behavior.  You become desensitized to what is dysfunctional because it’s a typical part of your environment.  So in turn your relationships mimic the ones from previous generations.

On the upside, generational curses can be broken.  Sometimes we recognize that our relationships are not healthy but think we don’t have the tools to stop the cycle of madness that has been ingrained into our lives.

Phrase for 2011, “Don’t underestimate your ability to change yourself, and don’t over estimate the ability to change someone else.”

Terrie Lynn

Terrie Lynn

Tips on being DRAMA FREE

  • You need to clean out your closet.  I mean literally clean out your closet.  You will not have room for anything positive or worthwhile if you have too much clutter and baggage. Get rid of all the negative aspects and get a fresh clean start.
  • Start making better choices.  Now I know there are times when you thought it was the right thing to do at the time.  But be honest with yourself.  When it come to most bad decisions we make, we knew it wasn’t a good idea in the first place.
  • Slow down.  Avoid making decisions when you’re very sad, very happy or in a hurry.  Don’t be so quick to react or jump to conclusions.  If at all possible, take your time, consider the cause and effect.
  • Other phrase for 2011 – “I’ll get back with you.”, “Let me meditate on that.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Share

Tags: , ,

6th Month Realization

Jan 9

Posted by NottHead in Chokkklit Shop, NottHeads, Relationships | 1 Comment

by NottHead

Shama3, Kal Cauthen - Cotton Mill shoot

Fling

I never said I was ready for a relationship

I never said I was looking for a commitment

You know I care deeply,

I am emotionally involved

But remember

This thing of ours

Is more than casual

But it was always subject to change

But remember

You took the bate

Game never shall we hate

Shama3, Kal Cauthen - Cotton Mill shoot

Shama 3 and Kal Cauthen

You’re a first round draft pick

My MVP candidate

But remember

You got blinded by the bling

Bright lights and pretty things

It’s all vanity in the end

Photos from Cotton Mill Shoot – Kal Cauthen (model), Shama3 (model), Reno Valentine (stylist), John Washington (photography), Michael Davis (photography)

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Share

Tags: , ,

Xmas list or Ho Ho Ho?

Dec 22

Posted by NottHead in Chokkklit Shop, Controversy, NottHeads | 2 Comments

Terrie Lynn for NottHeads – Chokkklit Shop

Are you at the top of his Christmas list or the hohoho?

Ho Ho Ho

Xmas Ho Ho Ho

What do the intimate expect for Christmas?

Now, I really don’t want this article to sound like an exchange of sex for Christmas goods, but if you’re in an intimate relationship, what should be under your Christmas tree? I know Christmas isn’t about the getting, but the giving. But are you giving a great gift from your heart and he’s giving a damn? Technically, a man only has 3 times a year to put in the additional effort, Birthday, Christmas and Valentine’s Day.  For most women, it isn’t so much about the gift, but the need she has to feel special…

There are some ladies who expect way too much, but on the flip side, you have a lot of ladies who accept way too little.  If three times a year is too much for him to go that extra mile, maybe it’s time to reevaluate your relationship.  Now I’m not saying dump the dude over a Christmas gift, but step back and really look at how you are treated, not just on holidays, but all year round.

  • It might be a simple solution, just you speaking up, not acting a fool, but just saying what’s on your mind.  You want to receive a gift from a cheerful giver.
  • For some reason, you may have gotten use to you putting in more work into the relationship than he does.   This can become a very bad habit. Backup and allow him to put some work in.
  • You may need to stop subjecting yourself to mediocrity.  Now you’ll be a little pissed off if you settle for so little, and the next girl comes along and he plays Santa for her.  It can happen! When early in the relationship you allowed it to be that way and he sees how you accepted it, why should he behave differently?
  • You might have to re-adjust your priority list. If you’re in an intimate relationship, you should rank the same with each other. One should not be doing so much more than the other.
Sisters stop asking Sisters

Sisters stop asking Sisters

“Men are like dogs!  You have to train a man to treat you like you want to be treated.

Read the rest of this entry »

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Share

Tags: , , , ,

Teen Pregnancy – Parent Approved??

Dec 4

Posted by NottHead in Chokkklit Shop, NottHeads, Relationships | 1 Comment

Terrie Lynn for NottHeads – Chokkklit Shop

In the last few years, there has been an increase in teen pregnancy and analysts don’t know why.   Every day more and more teenage girls of all races are giving birth to children.   You would think with free and easy access to contraception and the abundance of information regarding AIDS statistics and other sexually transmitted diseases that teens having unprotected sex would be on the decline.   But unfortunately the reality is quite contrary.

Teen Mother

Teen Mother

Reality is: Two-thirds of these teen moms will not graduate from high school, will receive some form of welfare assistance, and have sons who are at a greater risk of being caught up in the penal system.

BASED ON MY BOOK: WHAT YOU THINK YOU KNOW, YOU DON’T

Excerpt from book, page 10

“Is it possible that because society has become more sympathetic with single moms, that females have become relaxed and irresponsible? Maybe teenagers are getting real life sex mixed up with sex seen on T.V.”

Or maybe, just maybe, teen pregnancy has become parent approved!  Has it become such a common sight to see a teen with a pregnant belly, that it is now socially acceptable?  Do parents take in stride the fact that they are grandparents after being a parent for only 13 or 14 years?  Why are our babies rushing to have babies?

What You Think You Know

What You Think You Know

Just think for a minute………..  If trying to convince a grown woman to postpone sex for 90 days goes into one ear and out the other, how are we going to convince a teenager to restrain from having sex? The thought of a woman over 25 keeping her legs closed for 3 months is like asking black folk to give up barbeque ribs for tofu.  Now, let us try getting a teenager to ignore all the sexual images they’re bombarded with daily; that would be like mission impossible. Believe it or not, that busy box in your living room you have entertaining/babysitting your kids, has a huge influence on our teens.

Excerpt from book, page 25

“Reasons why you may want to have sex:

If you don’t have sex with him, the other girl will.  Let her!”

You have women who are way past legal age, and still don’t realize that within a relationship their man should treat them with respect or get to steppin. So how will we convince a teenager? Read the rest of this entry »

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Share

Tags: ,