Sisters Stop Asking Sisters – I’m A Black Man, Just Ask Me!
by Terrie Lynn
There is an ugly war going on between the sexes with both parties blaming the cause on each other. Women claim that all men want is sex. Men claim that all women want is money. Deep down inside we all want to meet our soul mate and be happy. However, we’re not going to recognize him or her because our hearts are so scorned, and our thoughts are so distorted.
Women, one way to prevent becoming bitter toward men and relationships is to not stick around until the fat lady sings. Put on your track shoes and break out as soon as you hear a hum.
I know we want to give our men the benefit of the doubt, especially when we feel that lingering issues are involved. Know that there is such thing as a “bad seed.” If you really know in your heart that your man isn’t worth a damn, get the hell out of there! Don’t stick around making up excuses to stay together. Women will start digging up explanations that date back to when he came out of the womb.
I understand why some women feel, “I’d rather sleep with six different men, then to continue spreading my legs for the same low down MF.” Then you wonder why you’re so bitter toward relationships. Hell, he’s done everything but set you on fire! One lessons in life to remember; People can and will only do to you what you allow them.
Men, one word: … KARMA
Don’t act. I know you’re not always the perpetrator, but there is a price to pay for unnecessary roughness. The one you scam and slam on, lie to, and make cry too, that’s going to come back around, not once but triple, and probably not from the one you hurt. Just know that some chick somewhere along the road is going to stick it to you real good.
Women, quit beating yourself up with all those would’ve, should’ve, could’ve questions. You know the questions you want answers to but you can’t ask the man because it sounds too much like the nagging, “What’s wrong with me?” or the “Why didn’t he like me?,” “Am I a good catch?,” “Does she look better than me?”
Women, be honest with yourselves we’ve all had these thoughts: Had I been just a little thinner, had a bigger booty, stuck it out a littler longer, had been more aggressive, was less aggressive, more educated, less educated, was able to cook like his mother, not had so many credit issues, was not so nice and accessible, had been more of the “B” that I am, had sex with him on our first date, would not have had sex with him on our first date, had not given him head so soon, swallowed instead of spitting it back out, and so on?
And when your equilibrium is still off balance, you’re suffering with migraine headaches from pondering over the situation day in and day out. You then do one of the worst things you can do: You call upon “that girl” friend, not the man or a man, any man or male friend; you call upon “that girl” friend. You know the one who’s cute but doesn’t have a man, never seems to ever have a man and no one ever really knows why. Never the less this is the person you’ve designated an expert on relationships, whom you’re going to call and get all this great advice from.
While comforting you she provides you with feedback along with great explanations for the actions of a “man” she doesn’t know. Between the two of you, you’ll analyze the crap out of the situation factoring in all kinds of dependent and independent variables as to how and why this happened. You’ll convince each other that it has to be one thing or the other, as if there can’t be any other possibilities that go beyond the likes of the two of you. What makes this even worse is when she tells you something you don’t want to hear, you’ll swear she’s hating on you forgetting that you dialed her number.
Sisters, let’s stop asking our girls. Let’s stop trying to figure out a male’s point of view from a female’s perspective. Maybe Black men do have more issues, and perhaps relationships with Black men are more complex than we’d like to believe, or is that just another excuse, to excuse trifling behavior? Let’s ask a Black man.
These are their stories:
Relationships Can’t be Microwaved
For one, women are a hand full. Women read too many fictional novels. Women also get too caught up in celebrity lives and movies and begin trying to plan their relationships accordingly.
The majority of women’s relationship problems are self-inflicted. Either they let go too soon, or hang on too long. Sistahs don’t seem to understand the concept of dating. Dating is the trial an error period between two people. Think of it like starting a new job. You have a 90 day probationary period, so don’t get too comfortable. Remember, when you meet someone new, it’s always going to be more intense in the beginning, after all you’re in the lusting stage.
But I’ll be damned, before 90 days, y’all women will be all in love, all up in church jumping up and down praising the Lord for bringing this man into your life. You don’t even know if this is the man that the Lord sent you. Some people are just meant to cross our paths or be in our life for a season.
Man I met this chick; I don’t even think we hit the end of the 90 day probationary period when I started seeing her speeding by my crib late at night, doing about seventy in a residential area. I’m supposing she wants to see if my car is gonna be parked. Another night, I just happened to look out my back window to see her standing on the hood of her precious Nissan Maxima trying to see into my bedroom window. When I ask her what’s up with that, she explains to me how her last boyfriend kept cheating on her, now she’s just cautious.
No! Lurking around a brother’s crib is considered stalking. Can you spell restraining order?
Why would you continue to stay with a man who constantly cheats on you? Now I’m just supposed to accept you as my new girlfriend the stalker? I don’t think so. Sorry sistah.
I’ve been going out with this new sistah for two months. Talk about keeping track. She’s telling me it’s our two-month anniversary so she’s taking me out to an exclusive restaurant to celebrate. While eating dinner she asked me how I feel about marriage and kids. I assume she’s asking a general question so I give her a general answer. “That will be cool some day.” She appears to have gotten a little perturbed and replied, “Some day?” “Yeah, some day I’d like to have a wife and a couple of kids.” From the tone of her voice I thought she meant kids and wedding today at 6:00.
Sistahs want to be able to predict the future of a relationship in four dates. I’m sorry, in five dates, I don’t know if you’re the one I want to spend the rest of my life with nor do I know if I want you to be the mother of my children. It’s nothing personal against her but men just don’t think that far ahead.
Next she explains to me how she doesn’t have time to spend on a brother who just wants to keep taking her out for a test drive and doesn’t want to buy the car. “Hey that’s on you. From what I recall, you’re the first person undressed and then you start tearing the clothes off of me. I thought we were both out for the test drive.”
A Good Man